What is love?

I had a very interesting discussion today with my aunt Melanie, and we discussed the differences between the conception of love back home, and here in the USA.

It is very interesting to see how many young people back home emulate the stars on popular American shows in their pursuits, but then when it is actually time to be in the relationship, they revert to the very un-romantic attitudes of our traditions; especially young men.

Don't get me wrong, there are some of us who do believe in the whole romance spiel, and I happen to be one of them. But in male Congolese company, it is an aspect of me that I'd rather keep to myself, for fear of being labelled "Westerner", "White", or simply "Softy"!!! It's a little bit like the locker-room-jock kind of situation and "macho" attitude, but to the tenfold. It is not uncommon to hear comments like "Love is an excuse for wimps who can't get women... and for White people of course".

I was feeling hopelessly lost and desperate in the discussion (as I am myself a believer in romance), when I realized something: It's not that romantic love does not exist back home; it's just that the cultural system has not allowed it to flourish as much (Just like the church did in the West up to a century ago). It has become a non-issue for lack of interest, but it does not mean people stop feeling it: they just don't talk about it, because frankly they don't know how to, and they don't really care, as long as they get what they want.

Not that I have anything against having sex, but I do appreciate and cherish the idea of having a partner that not only shares her body with me, but also what we refer to as her "heart" (because we know that, technically, it's just a muscle, right?).., but seriously, why is it so hard for people to embrace their feelings, as well as their urges? Is one less of a man because he is weak-kneed when asking someone to marry them, or because one cries when he is heartbroken? Personally, I don't think so.

But then I had a second epiphany: I was mostly thinking about Men! In fact, women are a bit more in tune with their feelings back home too; in fact they are almost required to be, by the education they receive. So the notion of romantic love with chemistry, and butterflies, and longing, and the whole package, is easier to sell to them.

So then I came to the conclusion that my being an 'aspiring romantic' was not totally against my society and culture... My globally-oriented education simply gives me a few more tools to express it.

I feel a lot better now!!! I am not totally Westernized !!! That is really good news (no offense to the West, I do love you guys!).
Cheers!!